First Regret
by BeautifullyMelancholy
Summary: Sebastian finally takes Ciel's soul, the soul he has worked ever so hard for. But after everything he learns, what will he do? Why does he regret devouring his little cute meal? SebastianxCiel CielxSebastian (Yaoi, shota, awesomeness. Oneshot but superfucking long!)


So, this is obviously a SebastianxCiel oneshot. A really fucking long oneshot, but none the less is one! 14 damned pages people! Also, this is rated R for a reason. This has **shota, yaoi, gruesome shit, and some fucked up rape shit (though I promise it's not too detailed).** **YOU'VE BEEN WARNED PEOPLE!**

'_This_' is when someone is thinking. **_"This"_** is cinematic record narrator. **"This"** is when someone is talking in cinematic records. And finally, **_'this'_** is when someone is thinking in the records. Now enjoy and review afterwards!

**~~Sebastian's POV~~**

"Will it hurt?"

"It will, a little bit. I will make it as gentle as I can, though."

"No, go ahead and be brutal. Etch the pain deep into my soul as proof that I lived."

I kneel and place my hand over my heart after quickly recovering from the surprise of his words. "Yes, my lord."

I hold back a grin. Finally. After these few years of being taunted by this soul. The most delectable soul I have yet to face up until now. The soul that has been hidden behind sapphire eyes in the back of my mind. It has always been mine. But now I get to take possession of it, consume it. Finally.

My lord relaxes slightly and leans his head against the cold stone bench behind him, as I lift my silk covered hand to my lips. Tearing it from its confines, I walk forward and lightly touch my master's cheek, stroking it for a moment.

It's always amazed me how shockingly soft his skin is. How flawless. He is by far the most beautiful of his kind, man and woman. And I'm about to consume him.

I slide my hand under his eyepatch and slip it off of his face, running my fingers through the fluffy blue hair that I have washed everyday for three years.

My lord slowly opens both of his eyes, showing me one sapphire gem and a violet star. My own eyes turn glowing pink in hunger as I lean forward. I can hear his little heart beating faster as I come closer, yet he looks as calm as a gentle stream.

_Resigned._

I watch as those big eyes widen slightly, then sagging and closing, before I touch my lips to his.

I feel my heart tighten strangely, but choose to ignore this. Instead, I focus on the excitement of what I'm about to taste, to eat, coil in my stomach. I begin to slowly extract his soul.

As I start to taste a sweet bitterness, I hear a muffled pained groan come from my master's lips while he stiffens. At the sound, my chest tights a bit more, though I do not understand why. Again, I ignore it.

Coaxing the soul out more, still agonizingly slow, I am overwhelmed by its greatness. Different spices of emotions, some hot and tingly, others sweet and numbing.

After some time, the taste begins fading. Then, I am met with the last part of him that I will ever see. His memories.

When demons take a soul, they see the human's cinematic records. Parts that shaped who they are. The demon sees everything that the human did and saw, feels what the human felt. Some demons think of this as rather intimate, but I simply find it amusing.

I only see black for a moment, then it begins.

_**"I had a happy childhood.**_

_** "I was a sickly little boy, so my parents chose to keep me from the outside world, for the most part. But I didn't mind, because I was loved, and I was happy."**_ It's my master's voice that is speaking, deep, especially for his age, and as monotoned as ever before the first memory starts.

**A toddler Ciel appears out of the dark, and with him came two people; a man and woman. The man had dark blue hair, matching the miniature Ciel's. And the blonde woman had blue cobalt eyes, again matching his own. His parents.**

**Toddler Ciel is running around the sitting room of the mansion, giggling with wide, cute eyes. Suddenly his mother comes up behind him, scooping him into her arms and spinning him around.**

**"I caught you!", she exclaims with a bell-like laugh.**

**Ciel giggles more, squirming in his mother's arms, when he is abruptly taken out of their warm embrace, being replaced by a set of larger and stronger hands, holding him high in the air.**

**"I'm sorry my dear, but I believe I now have him!"**

As usual, find this amusing. Though I feel a warming feeling spread in my chest at the sweet scene, I continue watching. Honestly, seeing my nearly former master like this is shocking. I have heard from Tanaka that he was a happy child, but to see him smiling so widely, so brightly, to be laughing and playing, it was...odd.

This scene continues with Ciel jumping out of his father's arms and running away, bumping into servants that tell him to slow down. Surprisingly, he apologizes to them, though I have never heard my master say sorry, except jokingly before.

_**"Back then, I never thought that anything bad could happen. I was surrounded by my family and my loving, faithful servants. How could things turn so horribly?" **_

The scene changes, and suddenly I smell familiar scents. Smoke and burning flesh.

Then I feel as Ciel is filled with anxiety and fear, along with worry.

**"Mommy! Daddy! Where are you!"**

**Ciel is running again. This time he is older, and he isn't laughing or smiling, but instead calling for his parents repeatedly as he coughs from the smoke around him, affecting his asthma. **

**He sees a dark, chard body of an animal in a hallway. His eyes widen and his lip trembles. In a choked voice, he screams.**

**"Sebastian!"**

I take a better look at what is left of the dog that I am-was named after. He is curled into a ball, as though he was asleep. But there is no mistaking what happened to the mutt, his chard fur, his glassy eyes that are bugging out. If it was a cat, I would have been horrified.

**Finally, Ciel moves on, running to what is to become his study. Flinging open the door, he jumps back as a jolt of panic and fear climbs up his throat. Fire had burst through from the room, then it died down enough for him to walk closer to look inside.**

**Suddenly he feels a swirl of emotions. Pain, sadness, denial, shock. All flying around his mind as he stares at the sight in front of him.**

**Formally blue hair, now black with ash, is swaying slightly as the head of his father rests against his seat. Ciel can only see half of his face, but it's enough. Because that half is blustered from the flames, and red welts run down his neck, disappearing under his shirt.**

**Then, tarring his gaze from his deceased father, Ciel looks to the floor just in front of the large desk, to find his mother. Her gown, which used to be a lovely lavender and lilac, is now burning and turning a sickly gray and black. Her arms have welts and blusters also, but her face is by far the worst. Eyes open, dead and dull, are beginning to bubble, like they are being boiled. The skin that used to be as fair as her child's, now is black and crisp.**

**After a moment of shock, the traumatized boy screams.**

_**"At that moment, I wanted to die. To be with my mother, my father. I didn't think things could get any worse. But oh how wrong I was. How sickeningly naive I was."**_

**His scream is cut off by a large, rough hand covering his tiny mouth. Before he can react, that hand is replaced by another, but this one has a rag with chemicals soaking it. Everything goes fuzzy, then fades, and finally turns black.**

**The next scene is Ciel filthy with grime and dirt. His clothes have small rips in them that usually he would never stand for.**

**He's curled into his himself, his legs held tightly to his chest and his chin firmly on top of his knees. His small back his pressed up against the bars of the tiny cage he is inside of. His emotions are full of fright and stomach clenching suspension of what will happen to him.**

**_'God, please help me. Have mercy on me, and at least let me die quickly.'_**

I hear his pleas to god, begging to be spared. Asking for his death so that he could return to his family.

**_"They put me in a cage, starved me, treated me like an animal. I feared them, scared that they would make me suffer. I was right to be scared."_**

**A man in a black cloak, with the hood covering his face, comes to Ciel's cage, unlocking it and reaching inside. Ciel shuffles away into the corner farthest from the man, terror flooding through his slight form.**

**The man merely smirks a senile grin, and reaches farther in. Grabbing Ciel by fisting his hair, the mad man yanks the boy out of the small cage, making him scream and whimper. This only makes the man smirk more.**

**He shoves Ciel against his body, whispering in a low, grossly raspy voice into the child's ear. "Such a beautiful sacrifice. I'll enjoy it as we prepare you." Ciel feels more fear fill his mind and body**

**Then the man drags him out of the room and into a completely empty one, throwing him onto the cold stone floor. The room is not small, but it is also not big by any means. There are chains on the walls, blood stains forever tattooed onto them. The air in there is heavy and damp; humid.**

**After this observation, other cloaked men enter the room, crowding it. They surround Ciel, who is now on his hands and kneels, watching them all in fright. The men whisper excitedly, though even I can't understand what they say through Ciel's hearing.**

For reasons unknown to me, I begin to feel a sort of sickness fill me. My throat tightens up and my mind goes blank except for what I'm experiencing. I have a guess of what is about to come.

**After a few tense minutes, a few men rush forward, and suddenly Ciel's cheek is pressed painfully hard into the concrete below him, as his arms and legs are restrained. His shirt is ripped from his body, as are his pants and undergarments. **

**Tears streak his cheeks as he struggles against the men, though he knows that it is no use. He might not understand what is happening, but he knows that it isn't good.**

**And that's when others pounce on him. With one man shoving his privates inside of Ciel's tight, little mouth, another fills his unprepared, virgin hole. Ciel screams in pain, and the man in front of him moans from the vibrations.**

**This continues until all of the men have had their fill. Then they throw him inside of a cage once again.**

By this point, I'm is seething with anger, though I knows not why. Sure, I would feel angry if this had happened while my master was under contract with me, but this was before. I shouldn't care. But I do. And I feels happy knowing that I killed everyone that hurt my former master in such ways.

**_"They violated me. Time and time again, those sickening, weak, pitiful men violated me. I no longer longed for my own death. No, I dreamed of their's. Of their screams as I revenged what they took from me. I was furious. I was desperate. I was still scared."_**

The scene changes to a dirtier, thinner Ciel. This is how he was when I met him.

**He is pulled once again from his cage. He glares halfheartedly at the man and struggles weakly as he is taken somewhere. Suddenly, he is strapped to a stone slab. An alter.**

**"The sacrifice must bare the mark! Hurry, we have little time!"**

**Then a searing pain erupts from his lower back and Ciel screams as tears bloom in his eyes.**

**Then, a knife is diving down towards his heart as the men surrounding him chant. Agonizing pain spreads through his chest, and it feels like my stomach jumps into my throat.**

**Then we're surrounded by black, and soon feathers fluttered around. This is when I came to him.**

**"I ask thee but once; doth thou wish to form a contract?"**

**"Yes! Be my sword, my pawn, until I have had revenge on those who have sullied the name of Phantomhive! It is all I have left, all I desire!"**

**"Thou must sacrifice for thy desires. I ask thy soul as payment."**

**"I don't care! I have no use for such a filthy thing! Now form the contract!"**

Have no use for such a filthy thing. Now I realize what he truly meant by that. Again, I feel an odd sickness from the thought.

_**"I made a deal with the devil. My savior was not the god I prayed to, but instead the evil being that opposed him. But I no longer cared. The demon came to save me, not whatever god there might be."**_

**"What is your order?"**

**"Kill them!"**

**I can see myself materialize, smirking darkly. "Yes, my lord."**

**And then they are slaughtered. At the time, I didn't care about how they died, only that I followed out my master's order. But now, I wish that I had been slow, savored each and every kill.**

**The me from the past turns towards my former master, then picks him up and begin walking away.**

**"What is your name, demon?"**

**"I do not have one. You are to choose it, my lord."**

**The boy, dirty, naked in my arms ponders this for a moment, before speaking. "Sebastian. Sebastian Michaelis."**

**_"I was no longer scared."_**

**Myself and Ciel disappear, just to be replaced by a healthier blue haired boy, and a raven haired butler. We are outside, wearily watching the three servants make fools of themselves.**

**Ciel sighs and rubs his temples, crossing his legs elegantly as he stares at them.**

**"Is something wrong, my lord?"**

**My former master snaps a bit. "No, Sebastian. Just annoyed by those idiots. As usual, I suppose."**

**I see myself smirk slightly, replying with a statement.**

**"Lady Elizabeth is to come tomorrow. Shall I prepare a room for her in case she decides to stay the night?"**

**My master scrunches his face up, and I feel his distaste for the question. "No."**

**"But sir, she is you fiancé. You should welcome the chance to have her over."**

**He glares at him and speaks sharply. "And yet I don't. So drop it, Sebastian."**

**"Yes, my lord."**

**_"A few years pasted. I still sought my revenge, my aunt died. I became stronger._**

**_"But, I also began having these...feelings. They confused and disturbed me, so for the most part, I ignored them. I pretended that my chest wouldn't tighten around him. That I didn't feel calmer when he was in the room. I ignored it. And I'm glad I did. Because I know he would never return such things."_**

'_What does he mean? I understand he is most likely talking about me, though I don't know what about.'_

**Again, our surroundings change. This time, we're in the boat, heading towards the island we are now on. Ciel is staring at the water, watching some of his cinematic records pass by. I feel his calm resolve. He knows what's about to happen, that I'm about to have is soul. He feels happy, but also bitter and disappointed.**

**_'It will all end. He'll take my soul; he'll eat it. He won't care afterwards. Most likely, he won't even think about me again. But this way, I won't be without him. I won't be alone. So, I guess I'm...thankful...for that.'_**

Such curious thoughts he had at a time like this. But also, why do his assumptions make my throat tighten with an odd sensation? They're true, after all. I never care about my masters after I've consumed their souls.

_'But, he is different.'_

**Now Ciel is sitting on the stone bench. He feels at peace with what is about to occur. As I stroke his cheek, I hear his thoughts as he wills himself not to lean into my hand. While I take off his eyepatch and run my fingers through his hair, he tells himself to not sigh at the sensation it causes inside of him.**

**When I lean down and place my lips on his, I hear his thoughts again.**

**'****_This...isn't real...he isn't kissing me...'_**

**Then, as I start pulling his soul out of his body, his thoughts are of the pain, embracing it unlike any master I have ever had before.**

**And right before his cinematic records stop, he thinks one last thing.**

**'****_Now, I won't have to feel the agony of being in love with a demon, one that would never love a retched being such as me. I won't feel anything. I won't exist...'_**

And then I'm taken out of his memories as I swallow the last of his soul.

My eyes are wide as I stare at the limp body before me.

**_'In love with a demon...'_**

I shudder as I feel my hunger disappear, but the sick feeling remains, increasing the longer I stare at the empty vessel.

Slowly, I stand and pick him up. He is just dead weight in my arms. My former master's head lulls back, his hair stroking my arm from side to side as I instinctively position him in a way that would be more comfortable, had he been alive.

The tightening in my throat worsens.

I stare down into his face as I hold him to my chest. His eyes are closed, and he looks as if he's sleeping. I slowly run my fingers through his hair, willing him to lean into the touch, though I don't understand why.

I do this for a while longer, before going back to the mansion.

Apparently we had been gone longer than I thought. Time goes quicker in demon owned dimensions. By now, the mansion has been rebuilt, and Finny is outside trying to take care of the garden. He sees me after a moment, and his eyes light up. He becomes even more excited when he sees the deceased earl in my arms.

Finnian begins yelling for Mey-Rin and Bard as I walk towards him. But when he looks closer at me, I suppose he sees something in my expression, because his smile drops slowly. He looks down at the still warm body in my arms and tears fill his eyes.

Mey-Rin and Bard run out, grinning like fools as they look at me. But when I get to them, they seem worried from Finny's crying.

"Sebastian! Where have you and the young master been? Why is Finny crying?" Bard yells at me, becoming angry from our absence.

Mey-Rin hits him over his head and says in a furious whisper, "Bard! Don't be so loud! Can't you see the young master is sleeping?"

That's when Finny looks up at me, his cheeks tear stained. His voice shakes when he speaks. "Th-the young master is just asleep, right, Sebastian?"

_'Just asleep...Why do I wish that that was the case?'_

I shake my head and look down at the little body in my arms. I stroke his hair again, gently.

I hear the servants take loud intakes of breath. Then the crying and yelling started. I begin tuning them out, just staring at my master.

_'No, not my master. My former master...'_

My chest tightens at the thought.

I walk past the three servants, of whose I am no longer a part of, and take the master to his room. I lay him gently in his bed, on top of the covers and once again look down at him.

He truly looks as though he is sleeping. But it's not so. Because to be asleep, you must have a soul. I touch my abdomen, where my stomach is. Where his soul is.

I must do one last thing as my duty as the Phantomhive butler. I walk out of the room, ignoring the questions and cries of the servants. Not bothering with a carriage, I simply use my demonic speed to run to London.

In minutes, I am at the shop. Walking inside the door, I speak for the first time since talking with my young master.

"Undertaker? Are you here?"

A coffin opens slowly, and out comes the Undertaker, grinning with his white hair in his face like normal.

"Mister butler. Where is the little earl? Did he not feel like coming?"

I simply stare at him, not smiling politely as I normally would. By this time, I feel oddly numb. Not emotionless like normal, because even then I experience things like amusement. But I feel nothing right now.

"I require a coffin. I shall give you my lord's measurements so that you may make it."

The Undertaker becomes startlingly serious suddenly. "I can assume you've taken his soul then?"

"Of course."

Undertaker shakes his head and stands from his coffin. "Then why are you still here? You aren't his butler any longer. You could have sent a different servant here to do this."

I shake my head. "It is my last duty to my master."

Undertaker smirks and chuckles quietly. "You mean your former master, mister butler. He is gone, after all."

I don't reply to him. I simply look away at some casket. I hear the madman chuckle again.

"What were the earl's last thoughts, hm demon?"

"He said he wouldn't have to suffer loving a demon and not being loved in return anymore."

He laughs, making me feel faintly angry for some unknown reason.

"I'm sure he didn't know you could hear his thoughts. He would have never thought such a thing if he did. Are you happy now, demon? That you are no longer a butler? That you don't have to deal with a brat anymore?"

My anger rises. "I would prefer that you not talk about my master like that."

"Former master."

I have an edge to my voice by now. "Yes. Former master. Now please make his coffin so that I may go. Here are his measurements."

I hold towards him a sheet of paper with the young master's measurements written out on it.

Undertaker smirks and takes the paper. "When you begin to understand, come to me. I will always be here."

"Understand, Undertaker?"

He simply grins again and shoos me out. I don't bother arguing.

As I head back to the mansion, I decide to simply walk instead of running. I want to think about what Undertaker could have meant. Along with what I've been experiencing.

I have always cared about the young master, in a way. But never more than how I cared for any other master. Another of my past meals.

Sure, there were some moments that I enjoyed with my young master. Times when he and I were alone in his room or office, or even the carriage, and he would let down his guard in the slightest way. Barely noticeable, I'll admit. But still, it was there.

A few times he would ask me what would happen after his revenge, and I would tell him honestly, since I was ordered long ago to never lie to him. I would eat his soul. Devour all that makes him who he is.

And when I would answer, something along those lines, he would get this strange air to him. He would be both disappointed, and put at ease. I never understood such a mixture of emotions, especially coming from him.

**_'I won't have to feel the agony of being in love with a demon'..._**

I suppose I'm no longer confused about his feelings during those moments now. I have never had anyone fall in love with me, and I haven't ever fallen in love with someone else. I am a demon after all. We are very picky with who we decide to mate with.

Demons don't care about the gender of our mates. It doesn't matter, really. But only older demons have mates, because of how choosy we tend to be. The mate can be of any species; human, a fellow demon, even a death god. Once we mark them, they live as long as their mate does. When that demon mate dies, they die also.

I am considered a very old demon. One of the first, to be precise. Other demons think it to be odd that I don't have a mate yet. I won't lie, I am rather lonely without a companion. But I will not choose just anyone. Not many beings are worthy to be solely mine after all.

Though, now that I think of it, the only times I would forget my loneliness was when I was with my young master. I would be so focused on taking care of his needs, on protecting him, that I didn't have time to think about not having anyone.

'**_would never love a retched being such as me.'..._**

His thoughts swirl through my mind. He would act so dignified, have the air of confidence that would make any man cower in his presence. Yet he thought so lowly of himself. My thoughts instantly flash to his memories of those parasites that touched him. Then go over all of the times that my master would flinch when someone would touch him, even Lady Elizabeth, though he hid it well from others. All but me.

I feel rage bubble up inside me. For years, my young master thought so terribly of himself because of those filthy men that raped him. And I never cared to notice.

My footsteps falter slightly before I begin walking normally again. I have always prided myself in being perfect in everything I do. Even as a butler, a servant, I did everything with the utmost diligence. Yet I failed in noticing anything of true importance about my master.

'_I didn't realize that he loved me...'_

Loved. Past tense. Because he is no longer in existence.

**_'I won't feel anything'..._**

The essence that made him who he was, was devoured by a demon. By me. And the longer that fact remains true, the more I feel ill.

I have never felt regret before. I never regretted eating my promised meals. But as I grow closer to the mansion that his body lays inside, growing colder and stiffer as the minutes pass, my stomach tightens and causes me to feel queasy. My chest, my heart, squeeze so harshly that I feel that it might burst any moment. My throat won't swallow, and my tongue seems thick.

**_'I won't exist...'_**

I'm at the mansion again. I'm in his room. I am staring down at his lifeless face, and the sick-like feelings worsen.

I reach down, only noticing in the back of my mind that my hand is shaking just slightly. I stroke his cheek gently, cringing inwardly at how icy his alabaster skin is. Before, I thought that he looked as though he was asleep, but now as I look closer, I see the difference.

Before, he had a glow to him. Not one of happiness, but of superiority, of dominance. A glow that lit his face in a...beautiful way. I never realized how lovely he was until now.

**_'never love a retched being such as me'..._**

"My lord...what have you done to me so suddenly?..." I whisper to him, to his corpse. I'm shocked by my voice. It's almost...I don't know how to explain it. I don't understand. I don't...

My thoughts are interrupted by a loud, high pitched cry and then the running of heels. Moments later the door slams open and I see a flash of blonde before I see Lady Elizabeth hugging tightly to the body of my master.

"Ciel! Why would you leave me? I love you!"

I feel my eyes turn a faint shade of pink as anger simmers inside of me.

"How could you leave me? How could you leave the woman you're in love with?" She sobs into his unmoving chest, staining his dress shirt with her annoying tears. My thoughts drift back to his memories, of when he was annoyed by even the mention of this girl's presence.

'_He doesn't love you. He never has.'_

My rage builds up until my eyes are glowing furious pink. I have an aura of thick, dark evil intentions towards the young girl. The child hanging off of my master. Touching even though he would be cringing if he was still inhabiting that little body.

After a second, my aura becomes so overwhelming that Elizabeth faints, though later she will assume its from crying so much, I'm sure.

I stare at her, laying on top of him for a moment. Then in a split I have her on the floor next to the bed, and my lord firmly in my arms. Then we're gone, running towards London once again.

I sprint too fast for anyone to see us, though I take the time to make sure no one touches the boy in my arms. In mere minutes we are back to the shop I had just left not even an hour ago.

Walking in, I find Undertaker instantly. He is carving a child sized coffin. My master's...

He looks up and grins, cackling at the sight of me. That's when I notice that my eyes are still their demonic pink.

"Mister demon. Now, why do you have the little earl with you? Shouldn't he be home so that his young fiancé can mourn over him?"

My expression hardens in anger as I speak lowly. "You called her."

His idiotic smirk widens. "Of course I did. That is who loved him, right? Who he loved?"

I snarl and hold him tighter to my chest.

"He doesn't love her."

"Didn't, demon. He is no longer in existence." He speaks to my mockingly. I flash my fangs at him in fury.

"Stop saying that."

Undertaker chuckles darkly and stands. "Why? A demon shouldn't take such a liking to his food that he gets angry when told that that food is gone."

I stay silent at this, just staring at him as I run my fingers through my lord's hair to try calming me.

He laughs again. "I didn't expect you to understand so quickly. You are sharper than I gave you credit for, demon."

"Understand what, grim reaper?" I reply sourly.

"Could it be that you are in denial? You know, I've never heard of a demon killing the one that they would choose as a mate. Quite interesting, isn't it?"

I stiffen at this. Mate. I look down at the young boy that I'm holding. I realize how tight my hands are around his slight frame, a bruising force. I loosen my grip, not wanting to harm him more than I already have.

"I would not choose him as my mate..."

Undertaker seems to become amused by this. "Oh? Then you wouldn't mind me taking him from you now?"

I look away from my master and towards him sharply, narrowing my slit demonic eyes at him as he walks forward.

"I need to take his precious innards, anyway. Such a grotesque process with most, but I think with the little earl's body, it will be quite entertaining. You can watch if you'd like."

In less than a second I have the small body pressed into my back as I snarl at the reaper before me.

"You will not touch him!"

By now Undertaker is right in front of me, grinning his mad smile.

"Why not?"

"He's. Mine." I speak tightly through my fangs.

"Your's? Well his soul is your's obviously. You ate him."

I glare at him for a while, before looking away. My eyes sadden and my heart clenches.

I state in a monotoned whisper, "I can't get him back..."

Undertaker chuckles. "I know how you could."

My gaze shoots to him yet again, and he grins.

"I'll tell you how, if I get my payment. Tell me what you understand. It will be very amusing to hear you say it."

Again, I remain silent for a time, thinking. I know what he wants to hear, but is it true? I remember all of my time with my lord. The missions for the corrupt queen we looked into, the people we met and killed. The quiet times when I would put him to bed and he would tell me to stay until he fell asleep. His blue and violet colored eyes when I kissed him to take his soul, then when his body slacked beneath me. I make up my mind in moments.

"I want to mate with the young master."

He cackles. "I suppose that's as good as we'll get. Follow me, demon." The legendary grim reaper takes out his hidden scythe and slashes through the air, opening to a library. He steps through, me right behind him. The body in my arms is in front of me once again, cradled into my chest.

Looking around, I recognize the library fairly easily. It's the one that the angel Angela took my master to when trying to 'rescue him'.

Undertaker leads him down halls and up stairs, until finally we stop at a shelf of cinematic records books. He searches for a moment before grinning and pulling out a book. On the spine it reads _Ciel Phantomhive_. My eyes widen slightly, causing the reaper before me to laugh.

"Did you forget about the time we changed the nun's future, demon? If we could change her future by writing something down, we can alter Ciel's past by rewriting something. It is considered a taboo but, I think we can make an exception."

I look from Undertaker, to the book. Is it truly that easy?...

Undertaker opens the book of my master to the middle, where the last moments of his life are written.

_He's kissing me...why would he kiss me?..._

_Ah, there's the pain I was expecting. It becomes worse, but I endure it. I've been waiting for this, after all._

_I watch as my life passes by, both the good and bad. My parents, Elizabeth, grandpa Tanaka, but most of all there is Sebastian. And as everything turns black afterwards, I see his demonically pink eyes for the last time, wide with shock. _

_'__**Did he see it too? Well, I suppose it doesn't matter. Now, I won't have to feel the agony of being in love with a demon, one that would never love a retched being such as me. I won't feel anything. I won't exist...'**_

_And then there was only darkness._

I stare at the words, rereading them. His last thoughts. Even the parts I didn't hear. The thoughts that have been running through my mind all day.

It's hard to believe that it has only been a day. In one day, I've realized that I want my former master to be my mate. That he loved me. That I might even love him back.

Undertaker takes out a pen, though not the same one as when changed the nun's future. This one is blue, with red ink dripping from the tip. He holds it out to me.

I look down at the young boy in my arms and hesitate. To take the pen I would have to set him down. Undertaker sighs and motions me to follow him once again. He leads us to the same couch we found my lord on when he was with Angela.

Gently, I lay him down, brushing the hair from his cold face. I quickly take the book and pen into my hands and then look up at Undertaker as he begins speaking.

"Just write over the words there, from when you took his soul. The words will disappear, leaving only what you've written."

I nod and look back down at the book, thinking. Then I write.

_'He's kissing me...why would he kiss me?...'_

_I don't feel any pain after the kiss. Sebastian doesn't take my soul. I wake up on a couch._

I shut the book and hand it and the pen off to Undertaker, who takes them. We watch my master for a moment, before I feel something begin making its way up through my body.

I flinch at the odd sensation, then open my mouth as a blue ball of light comes up my throat and floats in the air. His soul.

I feel hunger return to my body, but I firmly ignore it. It's not worth the confusion and pain.

The soul travels slowly down to the body on the couch, before dissolving into his chest. I lean over him, my eyes wide with anticipation. It's deadly silent for a minute, and then it happens.

What little color my master has, returns to him. I hear his wonderful voice as he groans squeezes his eyes shut tightly, before opening them.

Cobalt eyes meet my crimson ones. They fill with confusion quickly as they take in the relief in my expression.

"Seb...astian. What happened? Why have you no taken my soul? And...why the hell are we here?" His voice takes on his usual demanding tone.

I just grin in response. Within a second I've moved on top of him, blocking Undertaker's sight of him. He is for my eyes and my eyes only. I see a cute blush spread through his cheeks that I never bothered to notice before, and then I kiss him.

I watch as his eyes widen with shock, and I kiss him more insistently, wanting to feel his lips move against mine. And after a moment, I feel just that.

Ciel melts into me as he becomes used to the kiss, and he wraps his small arms around my neck. As he threads his little fingers into my hair, I sit us up right, placing him on my lap. I place my gloved hands onto his hips, pulling him closer to me, causing him to arch his back so that our clothed chests now touch.

In the corner of my eye, I see Undertaker still there, writing something down. Then, Ciel and I are somewhere entirely different, on top of a bed. After noticing that, I just lose myself in the soft lips of the boy on top of me.

Soon he starts moving against me. His hips that I hold begin swinging in slow circles, rubbing against my hardening need. I moan lowly and then slide my tongue into his small mouth. He gasps softly with surprise, but responds eagerly.

As the kiss deepens, I feel as he shakily unbuttons my shirt. I finally pull back enough to speak, my voice low and rough.

"Ciel, we don't have to-"

He cuts me off with a firm kiss before rolling his hips seductively again.

"Why? Don't you want this?" For the first time, I hear insecurity in his voice and it near breaks my newly feeling heart. I kiss him softly.

"I don't wish for you to do something you don't want. Especially...this." My mind goes back to those men. How they touched him, hurt him. How I long to erase the memories of their touches from him.

"I want you. Please, I want you." He moans out his plea as he circles his hips again. I grunt and then untuck his shirt and unbutton it in a few quick motions. I hear his breath quicken along with my own. I shrug off my tailcoat and start unbuttoning my own shirt. Ciel helps me to speed me up, then brushes the sleeves off my arms as he presses his chest against mine once more.

While I undo his shorts I pull him into another heated kiss, taking dominance in an instant. He shifts onto his knees that are on either side of my thighs and I quickly lift him up so that I can more easily pull off his shorts and undergarment. When I set him back down onto my lap, he grinds into my needy ache, forcing a groan through my lips.

I slowly wrap my fingers around his little cock, making him whimper and arch his back. I smirk smugly and pull him into another heated kiss as I stroke him slowly.

Ciel moans lightly and moves against me, rocking his hips. He kisses me more desperately as I quicken my pace.

Soon he stiffens and in a shriek he yells, "S-Sebastian, I-I-!"

I lean forward and whisper in his ear, "Let it go. Cum."

With that, he lets out a screech and wetness covers my hand while he leans into me, breathing hard.

And then he's going again. He reaches down and unbuckled my belt, throwing it somewhere off the bed, then lifts onto his knees again, but this time shakily, and unzips my trousers, yanking them down to silently demand their removal.

I chuckle and raise my hips, allowing him to pull them along with my underpants off and hit the floor.

Ciel does something that surprises me. He slides down my body slowly, smirking up at me with lust clouding his eyes. Before I can force myself to say anything, his small mouth engulfs me. I growl with need and throw my head back in pleasure.

He seems to enjoy this, as I feel him smirk around me and chuckle. I groan loudly as the vibrations shake all the way up my spine.

He deep throats me and sucks, and soon I loose it.

"C-Ciel!"

I stiffen and grip his hair, pushing down his throat more as I ride through my orgasm. I watch with awe in my eyes as he swallows all of the juices, and when he pulls back with a pop I quickly lean down, kissing him feverishly. Wrapping his arms around my neck, he sits in my lap again, kissing back with everything he can.

I get lost in the kiss, until he wraps him tiny hand around my cock, and brings it to his entrance. He sits up enough to get the tip in, then slowly eases it inside. I moan lowly and close my eyes, kissing him deeply to keep him mind off of the pain.

When I fill him to the hilt, I have to force myself not to pull back just to thrust back into his velvety heat. I stay still for a while until Ciel slowly starts riding me, moaning softly as he does. I growl and finally my restraint breaks. In moments he's on his back, legs wrapped tightly around my waist as I pound into him.

He screams in surprise and pleasure, then whimpers.

"Faster! P-please, Sebastian!" His voice is delicious, as it holds a choked up sob. I comply, grabbing his hips firmly and pushing into him with more power. I'm sure later he will have bruises, but I can't bring myself to think about that, only the pleasure that he and I are feeling.

I try a different angle, searching for that spot. And after a few more angles, suddenly he shrieks and tightens his legs around me, arching his back in a wanton way.

"There! Please there again!"

I smirk and pound into his prostate, hitting it dead on each time. My thrusts become erratic as I get closer to the edge.

Within moments, I feel Ciel's entrance tighten, pushing me into my orgasm with him. And as we both meet each other's desperate thrusts, I can't stop myself when I extend my fangs and bite into his delicious neck.

He convulses again as he is brought to another orgasm, screaming my name loudly. I growl into his skin, biting deeper a little as I feel the mating bond thread between us. Suddenly I can feel his ecstasy, his happiness.

_'His love.'_

And then we're riding down our high. I breath heavily and slowly extract my teeth from his soft skin, licking the bruising and bleeding area to stop the blood. He whimpers lightly again as I pull out of him gently.

Laying down, I bring him to my heaving chest so that he can press his warm cheek to my skin. After we catch our breaths, I lift his chin up so that his drowsy, life filled eyes can gaze into mine.

I lean down and softly kiss his plump lips, then whisper, "I love you."

His breath catches in his throat and he stares at me, then pecks my lips. "I love you too."

I smirk, then kiss my way to his ear and nibble his earlobe. He moans as I hiss possessively. "You're _mine_. Only mine."

I feel him smile slightly. "I know. And you're mine." He pulls back to look at me, stroking my hair. "Never leave me. Always be by my side."

I stare into his eyes, one sapphire blue while the other is once again violet with a pentagram in the center. A new contract. But this one is of a different sort. A mate sign.

I smirk and reply jokingly, "Yes, my lord."


End file.
